About CoachAT

I help overweight people get skinny, I help slow people run faster, I help scared people become brave, I help weak people become stronger, and I help diseased people become healthy.

Long Live in Paradise RL

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Exactly a week ago a family member of my Love had suddenly passed away. Needless to say it has been hard for the family to cope with such an immediate loss, but I want to dedicate this piece of my blog to the legacy he has left behind. Even as we leave this earth physically, what we have done and who we have affected will live on as our legacy, whether it was good or bad.

RL (Ronwald Lloyd) Temporosa’s legacy will burn bright and be carried on through his family and friends. His specific legacy in my eyes consisted of strong relationships with his family, friends, and his S2000. When I first met the guy, I was nervous as hell since it was the first guy cousin of my girlfriend I would meet. He turned out to be a pretty funny guy.

If you spent time with RL you would immediately notice two things; his infectious laughs and huge smile.

Pain, sadness and anger is all that flows within your emotions if you have lost someone close to you, and the only cure to these symptoms is laughter. Pain makes you weep, sadness makes you regret, and anger makes you blind, however if you laugh, you remember and live “in the moment.”

Laughter gives you the chance to relive your loved one’s life and instill the good times they have brought you during their time here. No one can take those moments away from you. It’s perfectly natural to feel the pain of the void that is left by your loved one, but constantly remembering the good that they have contributed to this world will show you that what they have done, stood for, and exuded in this world will always live on.

Big smiles, loud laughs, and having fun. Wherever you are, I know for damn sure you’re doing all three. Long Live in Paradise RL.

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4 Different Types of Graduates

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It’s graduation season! This means getting constantly invited to numerous graduation ceremonies and parties and celebrating with people their accomplishment of finally being “done.” If you’ve been to one of these events, things that may have been said to the graduate could sound like the following:

  • “You are the future! Go make a difference now!”
  • “Congratulations! What are your plans now?”
  • “So what’s next!?”
  • “Good Job! Now what kind of job will you be applying for?”

For the graduate themselves, it can be a bittersweet celebration. You have people who mean well, but at the same time that question of, ”What now?” can be a daunting one. For some it’s as easy as applying, interviewing, and getting the position they’ve always wanted but for most, not so much. It doesn’t mean that those who have not found a job yet are lazy bums or have worthless degrees; they just haven’t found that drive yet. Once they find that drive, a switch turns on and they turn into relentless visionaries out on mission!

What I have realized coming out of college and looking back is that there are four different types of graduates. There’s the poster child, the dreamer, the workhorse, and the standstill. After seeing where all my peers went after graduation a few years ago, it was very easy to decipher which one was what. It was pretty interesting to see people’s careers grow and see where their true passions lie. Let me explain to you my thoughts on these four types of graduating mentalities.

The Poster Child

This graduate is what college parents hope their son or daughter can be at the end of their college career. This graduate majored in something “important” or “of high value” in the view of society. They pretty much have a job lined up for them right after college after putting in a lot of hours in their degree and gaining just enough experience. They know exactly how to see things through and commit to a main goal. This type of graduate can accomplish anything because they’re usually pretty damn smart. The only thing is these types of graduates are becoming less common as the years go by. More students are now taking chances at other fields that are of “lower value” in society’s eyes for their own personal aspirations.

The Dreamer

This graduate was usually the person in college who was always creating something, or was extremely passionate about a cause. It didn’t matter how society viewed their major, whether it was admired or looked down upon. This graduate had a big, crazy goal set for themselves and was going to do whatever it took to accomplish it. You may know this person because they constantly live and breathe their vision when they’re around you. It’s like they have this constant, annoying yet inspiring energy about them. They may fail many times, but the dreamer is a growing breed of graduates who are not afraid of taking risks to attain ultimate happiness and fulfillment in their lives.

The Workhorse

They paid for their own tuition, worked multiple jobs, while taking on a full load at school. These graduates are tough, hard working individuals who have one goal, to succeed. You may know a few of these types of graduates because they are usually the first person to be wasted at a party. Because of their insane work ethic, people around them want to help them out in any way they can. Since they’ve been working long stints at various jobs, their big network and extensive job experience will only help them in their journey to grow in their field and succeed in whatever they are doing. Their motto is “no excuses” and inspires anyone and everyone around them. They feel sorry for no one, and may even come off blunt, but only because they know what real hard work is.

The Standstill

They went through the motions of college, worked hard in every class for a degree they thought they wanted. After the ceremony, the graduation parties, and constant congratulatory gifts from friends a family, they go off and apply to the jobs they’ve been studying for. They actually look like “the poster child” at first. They become hired and are excited working in the field they have been working for in their college career. A few months into it, they hate everything about their job and work environment. They then quit their job and arrive at a standstill at their lives, not knowing which road to take moving forward. It is very easy for this graduate to become a little lost and confused, but they need to realize that if they can get through college, they can get through this bump in the road. The best part is they usually have friends such as the poster child, the dreamer, and the workhorse to help them out in times of need.

A graduate can be a combination of various types, but at the same time emphasize one specific type through their characteristics and mentality. They can also change from one type to another in a flash from my experience.

If I had one advice to give all new graduates, it would be that in the “real” world, work ethic is king. In my career I’ve worked with a lot of people from all walks of life, from sales clerks and construction workers to lawyers and retired surgeons. All the happy, successful, fulfilled people I have come in contact with didn’t all have a high paying, respected job, or a degree from a prestigious university, or their own business. The one thing they did have in common was deep passion for what they do and relentless work ethic. For every new graduate for every year, the real work has just begun.

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Work Ethic

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This past weekend was my Love’s birthday and I surprised her by taking her to a Food Tour in the Mission District located in San Francisco, CA. I wanted to have a tour with an awesome tour guide so like many of us I checked out yelped. I found Foodie Adventures who was ran by Chris Milano. Now just to get it straight he didn’t pay me to do this post or any way shape or form, it was actually the sole experience I got from his tour that stimulated this piece.

On the food tour we stopped by several Ma and Pop restaurants, learned about each of their culture and back stories, and ate their food. There was a relentless amount of eating. What I was so inspired about is that these family run businesses epitomized work ethic. That is the very reason they are still in business after 30+ years! Several factors that give them that edge over their mainstream competitors are:

  • They own their property, not lease it.
  • They stay true to their quality.
  • They work HARD.

We first stopped at a bakery, where one of the owners is chinese but speaks fluent spanish! Chris said it’s hilarious to see the look on all the hispanic women’s’ faces when the chinese owner starts talking to them in their native language. The other owner works 13 days on, one day off. That’s almost 2 weeks of non-stop working, each day being 12+ hours. Believe it or not they love doing it!

Another restaurant we stopped by had their kids start working at the age of 13! Some of you may say “Oh my thats child labor! Horrible!” It’s not horrible when you understand the reason behind it. One of the workers came out as she was giving us a sample dish of what they offered, and she explained, “When we turn 13, my Dad tells us, ‘By this age you already know how to spend money, now it’s time to learn how to make it.’” With that being said, they start to learn what hard work really is.

Just because they work hard at a young age, however, doesn’t mean they’re mindless drones. They still go to school and get their education, but at the same time they learn what work ethic really means, what it feels like, and what it can really get you. One of the older brothers already owns his own home, at the age of 21. This past month we were also told that their parents who own the business and work alongside them, took all their kids to Disney World to thank them for all their hard work.

It’s a different feeling when you are awarded for your hard work and achievements. There’s an appreciation there that cannot be replicated. Work ethic in today’s society is substandard in my opinion. Too many complaints about unnecessary things. The lack of appreciation for anything is growing at an alarming rate. The term “FML” (Fuck My Life) is used without a second thought. It’s a slap to the face to someone who’s struggling to keep theirs. It’s sad, and the only way to get out of the mentality is to realize that if you work hard enough in anything, success is possible.

It may not come right away, and it may not come in the way you first envisioned it, but once you’re there, you will look back at how far you have come and grasp the fact that your dream has finally become a reality.

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work”.- Colin Powell

Finding Your Passion

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If you were to work a job you hate that pays all your bills, chances are your quality of life won’t be as high as you would like it to be. It doesn’t matter if you feel like that’s how reality is because the truth of the matter is there are people right now who were once in your shoes now doing what they love and making a damn good living out of it. They did so by constantly pursuing a career they enjoyed instead of settling for a job they hated.

What if you don’t have a passion? How can you do what you love when you have no idea what you really love to do?

Sometimes we don’t get to do what we enjoy because survival is our main priority. Today’s common mentality is that a job that is your passion is considered a luxury because not everyone can do what they want in life. The notion is that the “dream” is a highly unlikely goal that probably won’t be accomplished because the “reality” is that you’re not good enough and the people who do work their passions are considered outliers or just plain lucky.

This type of thinking drives me NUTS! Finding a passion and making a living out of it shouldn’t be deemed as a hopeless desire. Human nature has a common tendency to think safe, do minimal, and stay alive. Fear is a great source of survival, but does not necessarily lead to a high quality of living. In order to realize what you truly want to do in life, this self defeating mentality has to go. It is definitely possible and should actually be encouraged through our society now, especially with today’s technology making it easier to share ideas and network with each other.

Here are several strategies that can help you find your passion, whatever it may be.

Give Yourself a Chance.

You have to get over the thinking that “it’ll never happen to me” because that type of mindset prevents you from even having a chance. Everything has to start with a chance and only you can give yourself that first chance in realizing that inner desire.

Take a Second Look At Your Hobbies.

A hobby or generally interest into something is usually what sparks a forest fire of accomplishments. Everyone’s hobbies are different, but the one thing they all have in common is that they have a passionate hobbyist behind them.

If you were to work on something you really like doing, times flies by like nothing! One hour will seem like 15 minutes. Take an activity that is monotonous and uninteresting and 15 minutes will feel like an eternity.

Figure Out Who You Really Are.

In order to truly find what you are passionate about, you have to find out who you are as a person. Forget the status quo or what is traditionally accepted and focus on being you. This may take some time and it’s not going to come easy, but the more you focus on what makes you tick as a person, the easier it will be to find your purpose resulting in your passion.

“. . . there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.”
   – Albert Camus

Negative Nancy!

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Most of us at one point in our lives has experienced someone belittling our accomplishments no matter how awesome we make our achievements sound. Negativity can be very hard to avoid, especially if you’re always in that type of environment. Our mentalities and perceptions in life are usually shaped and molded by those we surround ourselves with. It’s just like that age old metaphor: If you soak a brand new sponge in clean water, you will squeeze out clean water. If you soak a brand new sponger in dirty water, you will squeeze out dirty water. That is exactly how our minds work with the environment we surround it with.

If you are having trouble being happy, just for one day, try to take note of the your surroundings and what type of people you interact with on a daily basis. It only takes one person to say one thing in a dark tone to ruin your day, but it also takes one person with an infectious smile or contagious laugh to brighten it. Ignore the ones who try to have some negative undertone with you. Ignore the ones who passively talk down at your achievements. Some examples would be:

  • Finally graduated college!/Good luck finding a job.
  • Landed my first interview!/They interviewed a lot of people already.
  • Doing ‘this’ makes me happy and I love it!/’That’ doesn’t make much money.

I can go on and on about the “negative Nancies” in life, but the bottom line is to surround yourself by people who are driven and are just as bright as you if you want to stay in that positive mindset. Read the stories about the people who have succeeded and ignore the complaints and sob dramas from the people who have given up. Soak your mind in awesome thinking and you will exude awesomeness!

Your Inner Child

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Remember how it was being a kid imagining that anything is possible in life? Whatever you thought up had a chance of becoming reality as long as you made it happen. Whether it be saving the world as a superhero or pretending you have magical powers to entertain people. Whatever the case was, when you were a kid, you thought anything you did was and made you look awesome.

As we grew up, we see these things as silly notions of immaturity. When we reached that age of independence, to most of us it is all about being grown up and paying bills. You start getting use to the notion that dreams are nothing but figments of your imagination and that reality is a 40+ hour weekly grind resulting in your survival in this financially demanding world. Through this whole process, the care-free spirits we once were become cynical souls of the “real world.”

“It’s all part of growing up” is what the common knowledge is within our society, but I beg to differ. You ever look at individuals who have never stopped dreaming? They’re the most successful people in the world! They don’t have to be the richest and wealthiest people either. Money can buy a lot of things and make life a lot easier to live, however it can never satisfy what our inner desires are.

To satisfy your inner desires, your inner accomplishments you hope to achieve during your time here on earth, you have to have that childlike mentality where everything may be possible! One of the irritating and annoying things I’ve experienced working with a lot of “professionals” is that most of them take themselves too seriously. The few who don’t were actually the most productive and effective ones.

Look at Sir Richard Branson, who has dyslexia and dropped out of high school at the age Photo Credit: http://genese-de-strategie.blogspot.comof 16. He is now the man behind the “Virgin” Brand, a brand that almost anyone in the world can recognize! This guy is one of the most enthusiastic and fun people I’ve seen. People can say all they want about “Oh it’s because he’s lucky and wealthy. That’s why he’s so happy.” NO it’s not, it’s because of his child like mentality! In whatever projects he initiated, he believed, pursued, and never gave up! This guy went from running a record shop to building the first space tourism company! He is one of the many who emulate and exude that child like enthusiasm and energy.

Don’t lose your inner child, embrace it. It’s that little spark of fire inside of you that a lot of people tend to ignore because it’s the “mature” thing to do. If you really want to make something a reality, whatever it may be, listen to that little fire inside you. Everyone has that inner flame of hope burning deep inside them, all they need to do is fan the flames.

See It! Believe It!

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From my experience, it’s usually hard to visualize something without literally seeing it. We all know that in order to accomplish anything in life, we have to be able to see the “bigger picture.” I don’t know about you, but sometimes it can get a little frustrating because that picture in our head is exactly that, in our head. It means at times when we get frustrated or angry about something in our lives, whatever it may be, we lose track of what we are really trying to do.

Enter, the VISION BOARD! *Insert Trumpet Fanfare Here* YES! What is it exactly? Well, other people call it different things; the dream board, inspiration board, awesome board, some-day board, etc. It’s basically a big presentation board littered with pictures representing your goals you have set out to accomplish. You may or may not have heard of it, but for those who have not it is an awesome tool to add to your arsenal of positive-life-making utility belt!

I learned this concept from high school during a leadership class I took. We all had to a do a “me board” project, summarizing our lives in pictures displayed on a presentation board. It amazed me to literally see what my life looked like through pictures on a board. I had pictures of my family, my dog, my friends (break dancing at the time), cars, certain movies (FINAL FANTASY!?) and various other interests. I may or may not post it because I don’t know if my friends want pictures of them in their high school years up on the internet. (You’re welcome).

I loved the fact that I was able to see everything I actually valued. Then I thought, why not make a board that helps me see everything I want to accomplish? I recently made one for me and my girlfriend focusing on places we want to travel some day. It’s pretty motivating to see pictures of the beaches of Hawaii, the scenery in Australia, and the Disney theme parks around the world! It’s perked up in her room because she needs it more than I do. I’m currently creating one for myself!

It only takes about an hour or two to actually make. The things you need are:

  • Presentation board.
  • Awesome pictures that represent what you want to accomplish.
  • Scissors and glue.

You can get these at your nearby office store, but once you start making one time will just fly because you’ll be so inspired by the pictures and try to see if you can fit even more pictures in there! After you’re done place it somewhere you can see it every day, like by your bedside, in the kitchen or near your computer screen. The more you literally see what your ultimate goals are, especially on a daily basis, you’ll have just that much more motivation to keep pushing and striving towards it!

It doesn’t necessarily have to be career oriented either. It can be an upcoming wedding, a car you want to buy, a house, losing weight, gaining muscle, beating an illness, graduating school, starting school, etc. The whole purpose of the vision board is to give you a tangible connection to a hopeful future. It is a constant reminder of why you do what you do. It is your lighthouse helping you see through the fog of life, all you have to do is keep working towards that direction.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.”
– Robert Collieri