Long Live in Paradise RL

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Exactly a week ago a family member of my Love had suddenly passed away. Needless to say it has been hard for the family to cope with such an immediate loss, but I want to dedicate this piece of my blog to the legacy he has left behind. Even as we leave this earth physically, what we have done and who we have affected will live on as our legacy, whether it was good or bad.

RL (Ronwald Lloyd) Temporosa’s legacy will burn bright and be carried on through his family and friends. His specific legacy in my eyes consisted of strong relationships with his family, friends, and his S2000. When I first met the guy, I was nervous as hell since it was the first guy cousin of my girlfriend I would meet. He turned out to be a pretty funny guy.

If you spent time with RL you would immediately notice two things; his infectious laughs and huge smile.

Pain, sadness and anger is all that flows within your emotions if you have lost someone close to you, and the only cure to these symptoms is laughter. Pain makes you weep, sadness makes you regret, and anger makes you blind, however if you laugh, you remember and live “in the moment.”

Laughter gives you the chance to relive your loved one’s life and instill the good times they have brought you during their time here. No one can take those moments away from you. It’s perfectly natural to feel the pain of the void that is left by your loved one, but constantly remembering the good that they have contributed to this world will show you that what they have done, stood for, and exuded in this world will always live on.

Big smiles, loud laughs, and having fun. Wherever you are, I know for damn sure you’re doing all three. Long Live in Paradise RL.

Negative Nancy!

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Most of us at one point in our lives has experienced someone belittling our accomplishments no matter how awesome we make our achievements sound. Negativity can be very hard to avoid, especially if you’re always in that type of environment. Our mentalities and perceptions in life are usually shaped and molded by those we surround ourselves with. It’s just like that age old metaphor: If you soak a brand new sponge in clean water, you will squeeze out clean water. If you soak a brand new sponger in dirty water, you will squeeze out dirty water. That is exactly how our minds work with the environment we surround it with.

If you are having trouble being happy, just for one day, try to take note of the your surroundings and what type of people you interact with on a daily basis. It only takes one person to say one thing in a dark tone to ruin your day, but it also takes one person with an infectious smile or contagious laugh to brighten it. Ignore the ones who try to have some negative undertone with you. Ignore the ones who passively talk down at your achievements. Some examples would be:

  • Finally graduated college!/Good luck finding a job.
  • Landed my first interview!/They interviewed a lot of people already.
  • Doing ‘this’ makes me happy and I love it!/’That’ doesn’t make much money.

I can go on and on about the “negative Nancies” in life, but the bottom line is to surround yourself by people who are driven and are just as bright as you if you want to stay in that positive mindset. Read the stories about the people who have succeeded and ignore the complaints and sob dramas from the people who have given up. Soak your mind in awesome thinking and you will exude awesomeness!

Life

Some of us were born into a life with all the bells whistles; a mom, dad, a sibling or two, a big house, financial stability and most important of all, Love. Some of us on the other hand were born into a life of loneliness, hardship, hunger and hatred. A lot of us are somewhere in between. No matter where you came from, you were dealt a hand in life you had no control over. What you do with and how you play it, however, is ultimately up to you.

A great example of this is Aron Ralston, the canyoneer who got his arm stuck in a canyon one day during a hike. He literally ended up with a do or die situation, leading to him to sacrifice his arm in order to save his own life.

He valued his own life over one of his body parts. He knew the consequences were to endure the excruciating pain of cutting off his own arm and live without it for the rest of his life. He also knew the end result would be the very act of living. At that point in time, he wanted to live more than anything.

We always hear rags to riches stories but commonly call the people in those tales “lucky.” They were not lucky, they had the same mentality of Aron Ralston at the time he was in the canyon. They wanted to succeed as bad as they would have wanted to live in a life or death situation. No matter where they were in life, they worked their asses off to get where they wanted to be.

They knew that if they made the decision to walk and sometimes crawl the path that lead to success, it came with harsh lessons and experiences. What separated them from the others who have tried to no avail is that they knew that only they had the power to decide how successful they were going to be. They knew they had full control of the way they played their hand of life that was dealt.

When you want something bad enough, whatever it is, the biggest mistake you can do is not do anything at all. If Aron just sat there and did nothing, it would have been a very depressing fate. Go through life with that mentality, as if you were literally stuck between a rock and a hard place and the only way to break free is to do the unthinkable!

If you want to change your life, in any way, shape or form, you have to play your hand, and play it the way YOU want to. Your way may not always be the best way, but at least do it with confidence because nothing is guaranteed in life. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, that’s all part of the “game.” Don’t underestimate yourself, because when the time comes, you’ll even surprise yourself on how well you have played your hand.

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.”- Robert Louis

Hate Your Job? Your Body Does Too!

In order to be truly healthy, you have to be content both physically and emotionally. This means you not only have to eat well and exercise, but also have to generally enjoy your life. Aside from hanging out with family and friends and maybe even having time for ourselves, a majority of our time is spent working. The term “work” can be synonymous with a negative feeling to the majority who hate their job. 80% of Americans – according to Deloitte’s Shift Index survey – are not satisfied with their job.

Holy Crap!? 80%!? That means out of 10 people you hang out with, 8 of them do not even like what they do 40+ hours a week! It’s no wonder that so many people get trapped and lured by those “Get Rich Quick Pyramid Schemes.” Trust me, I was one of them long ago [shutters]. It may also be a reason why so many people have so many health issues. High blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, bad headaches, and the list goes on. There are multiple studies that have suggested that happier people are more successful and live longer, healthier lives!

So if you’re going to do something 40+ hours a week, it might as well be something you generally enjoy doing. However, there is constant resistance to this with the ultimate argument stating “if we all did what we loved we would starve doing it.” I didn’t say it was going to be easy. This whole issue of doing what you love but still being financially stable has been burning inside me for years!

I’ve worked jobs I hated, and I remember my health was shit. I ate like crap, thought like crap, and hit a low point in my health. It’s only when I decided to make a change and pursued what I wanted to do that I started becoming a happier and healthier person. If I didn’t make that change, I wouldn’t be writing this blog right now or even be in the fitness industry! It wasn’t easy, but I still made it happen.

I came across a post written by David Kanigan: “Do What You Love?” Within this blog he referenced some excerpts from another post: “How To Do What You Love” written by Paul Graham, a Harvard grad who co-developed the first web-based application, Viaweb.

This is only a fraction of awesomeness that was referenced:

“To do something well you have to like it. That idea is not exactly novel. We’ve got it down to four words: “Do what you love.” But it’s not enough just to tell people that. Doing what you love is complicated.”

“…How much are you supposed to like what you do? Unless you know that, you don’t know when to stop searching. And if, like most people, you underestimate it, you’ll tend to stop searching too early. You’ll end up doing something chosen for you by your parents, or the desire to make money, or prestige—or sheer inertia.”

This really reminded me of when I was in High School and my Mom and Dad were pushing me to “be a nurse! It’s a safe and secure job! Good salary!” Don’t get me wrong, I have some really good friends who are awesome nurses, but they’re awesome nurses because they generally want to be nurses! That’s what they love to do and it shows through their successes! However, there are a lot of other nurses out there who hate their job and just do it for a pay check. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have a nurse whose passionate about their work instead of a nurse working the graveyard shift only to pick up a few extra bucks.

“…It’s hard to find work you love; it must be, if so few do. So don’t underestimate this task. And don’t feel bad if you haven’t succeeded yet. In fact, if you admit to yourself that you’re discontented, you’re a step ahead of most people, who are still in denial. If you’re surrounded by colleagues who claim to enjoy work that you find contemptible, odds are they’re lying to themselves. Not necessarily, but probably.

…Whichever route you take, expect a struggle. Finding work you love is very difficult. Most people fail. Even if you succeed, it’s rare to be free to work on what you want till your thirties or forties. But if you have the destination in sight you’ll be more likely to arrive at it. If you know you can love work, you’re in the home stretch, and if you know what work you love, you’re practically there.”

I refuse to believe that the only way to be “successful” is to have a steady paying job that gives good benefits doing mediocre work. I have clients who work all day at a job they hate, but take steps towards their ultimate goal, and I have more admiration for them than those who complain about their life and job and do nothing about it.

Being happy is one of the key things you have to be in order to have a healthier life. You can’t be healthy and unhappy at the same time, and if you are I bet it’s a constant struggle. I’m not saying ignore your financial and personal obligations, drop everything and just look for work that you generally enjoy doing. I’m saying if you want to have a healthier lifestyle, taking steps towards a happier life is a must. Take a class, shadow someone whose doing what you want to do, do something small but different! I challenge you to do this if you’re in the “hate my job” boat. It just takes one small change!

“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” – Muhammad Ali

Adversity Sucks

This past Thursday I went jogging with my girlfriend, parked my car in front of a playground where kids were playing, people were walking their dogs and old couples were strolling around. Right after our aerobic bout of exercise, we came to see my driver side window shattered, my cellphone and wallet missing from my middle compartment, and nothing else (no it was not visible).

My girl’s purse was in the trunk, however they couldn’t get to it cause the dumbass thought my hood release was the lever to open it. Guess he fled quickly cause we got back after just 30 minutes. This happened in daylight in front of a Community Center. I called in all my debit & credit cards and disconnected my phone within minutes of seeing this with the help of some bystanders. However no one SAW anything -_-.

So there I was, no debit card, no drivers license, no cell phone, no credit card, no driver side window and a whole bunch of glass to clean up. Even with this I still asked my lady to take me to work after I drove my car to her house cause I still had to train people. Still gotta do work!

The next day I managed to get a new window, new driver license issued, new debit card ordered, and a new cell phone with the help of my Love Jozelle and her Dad Uncle Joe, my Dad, and my clients Aris and Blake. Within 24 hours I was back on my feet and still moving forward.

What I am trying to emphasize is that adversity can hit you randomly, and how a person reacts towards times of great affliction defines who they really are.

Whether it be a car broken into, lost your job, failed a class, whatever obstacles you may face, there IS always a light at the end of the tunnel. The only thing that can prevent you from getting to that light and moving forward is yourself.

One stops themselves from getting to where they want to be may be because negative thinking is so abundant throughout media, society & internet. Eff that noise.

Don’t let other people put you down. Don’t let anyone say you CAN’T. As corny as it may sound it’s the truth. If one hangs out with people who think negative, one too will think negative. If one hangs out with people who believe in everything is possible and are very supportive, then you will think the same way.

When people saw me cleaning glass from my car in the parking lot, some didn’t care, some just felt sorry, and a few actually offered to help. I could have felt sorry for myself. There are those I know who may think “That’s what you get for leaving your stuff in there.” or those one uppers who say “Well MY car got jacked a few months ago and couldn’t drive to work for a week.”

How are those things going to help my situation? They’re not. The only way was when I asked myself “F*ck it, what can I do to get back on my feet and still train my clients, build my business, take out my girl and get work done for school all by tomorrow?” and actually came up with several steps to get to where I wanted to be.

I pulled everything together within 24 hours, and that is what happens with positive thinking.
Believe in yourself and your abilities. Don’t ever think a Pro athlete, a CEO of a company, a Doctor, a Lawyer or whoever may be better than you. They may have had a better start in life, but you can do just as much as they can, you just have to know you can.

They all breathe like the rest of us. They are human, and so are you. ANY person is capable of limitless possibilities. Sure there may have been some detours along the road, but when one door closes, another door opens. The problem is that some people tend to stop looking for that newly open door and wander aimlessly through the hallway. That’s what happens when one gives up.

Don’t ever give up, especially on yourself.

“It doesn’t matter how slow you move, as long as you never stop.”